Recent song played : Cancer ~ Twenty One Pilots
All for nothing. It's been almost four years since the last time i wrote something on this blog. I have been doing all my best for a living. A lot of compliments come around i even had a chance to travel around the world,the biggest dream of my life. But reality just slapped on my face. When i'm about to living my dream i got the biggest fear i've been dealing so far. Well, turn out that my eyes wasn't only dealing with glasses, it has something worse inside. I got a Macular Degeneration at the very unusual age. I don't know how and why, but the doctor told me that this was caused by any traumatic blow around the head, too much stress or overworked at my job. Yes, those three are some rational reason indeed. I've only slept for less than six hours at the last two years, i've dealt with a lot problem and yes, i got a blow on my body ( literally ) sometimes. It sounds rational,but is it fair?. I always believe that all my hardwork all my efforts would be paid for something good in the future, but i think that wasn't enough for God.
I am mad, i am dissapointed to everything to my job to myself and even to God. I don't know what have i done, i've never felt really happy in my life. I thought making a ton of money would make me happy, but it's all for nothing now. All for nothing. Should i learn something now? I can't think any positive things right now. My next days would be worse. I'm going blind, my roommate would be part ways after all this time, I can't tell what i've been dealing to my single old mom. All on my own now, at the very bottom of my life. I don't know if anyone would read this, I don't know if God would read my mind ( if yes please make me some miracles ) the point is i just want to tell that no matter how hard is your life there's always a person who have worse than yours. Look around, listen to the other's hearts.
